Mandu was working at one of our websites yesterday, and a need occurred for her to dash into fb to search briefly for a material she could use for her work on the Site that yesterday. It must have been God that stopped her at the post above, because it is unlikely for her to notice posts/articles that are not written in bold letters, conspicuous enough to the eyes! It must have been God too Who Helped her to exercise patience with interest, and read through the long article above. She thanks God that she did! Mandu even suspected that the person, who posted it on fb, might have read HIM’s SAHIMO of this week, which touched briefly also on the same topic as the post above-MARRIAGE. Mandu then felt Led to further express herself on the points that our SAHIMO made mention of, which is also brought out in the post above. As you know, Mandu is the writer of our SAHIMO, and on the last one this week, she did share her personal experiences, which the post above has also included a bit of it too. So, Mandu is going to represent HIM again, while elaborating on the points about marriage she made mention of in the said SAHIMO on Monday.
I would like to use this opportunity to explain further, some points that I brought out about marriage when I wrote the last SAHIMO for HIM, this week Monday. As most of you know, and perhaps were expecting, HIM Service for this Friday(28/8/20), suppose not to be on this website. It is supposed to be Fun Service, and should be on our Social website where we usually post our Fun Service. But I decided to bring it here, to support the points on marriage that I mentioned when I wrote our SAHIMO on Monday. Bringing the article above here, will make it easier for you to quickly refer back to that SAHIMO above(S24), just to refresh your memory on it. So, I would like to be as practical as I can in the comment below, by sharing my own experiences with you here.
In our SAHIMO of Monday, I tried to encourage everyone who is ready to marry, or who will be ready to marry in the far future, that, such a one should PREPARE his or her soul first, if he or she wants the BEST CHOICE of spouse from God. Before asking God to Choose the right person to marry, the person should first of all ask God for sin-forgiveness. As a sinner, God can still Answer you if you pray Him to bless you with the best person, suitable for you. God knows how to make the match, that SUITABLE person to give to you, and He can bring the person to you for the marriage. But that suitable person may not appear or appeal to you `SUITABLE`, according to God’s Own Interpretation. Because you have acknowledged The Position of The God Almighty and His Ability to help you make BETTER choice, God too would Honour you and the little Trust you have in Him, and can then give you His best. He knows the kind of spouse that can help you become a better person, which can even result in you establishing more TRUST in Him, which in turn can take you to a closer relationship with God, for more BENEFITS in this world and in the World to come. God could give you a strong-attitude person, whom although you will love him or her, but might be someone that deals with you in a stricter way than the person you would have preferred to have for a spouse. Your God’s chosen spouse might come to be someone whose attitude towards you or in all other cases, could often cause you some stress which then could SEND YOU ON YOUR KNEES to beg God for help and solution. His or her attitude does not mean that he or her does not love you or appreciates you as a partner, no, but that could be the usual way of his or her reaction to things, which is contrary to your life-expectation. That means, he or she loves you, and you love him or her. Your spouse wants you, and you want your spouse, yet both of you are responsible enough to rule out separation or divorce from your marriage(provided the marriage is between you as a man, and her as a woman). Therefore, the only option for you now is to make the marriage work. It is in the process of making it work and last, that you may begin to adopt a PRAYERFUL LIFE DAILY and make it part of you! As you will be praying that God should change your spouse and gives you peace in your marriage, The Faithful God may also be pointing you to the right things and the right prayer to pray in order to result in what you REALLY want. God could be pointing you to your own faults to correct, or He could be pointing you to some things you just have to compromise with your spouse in order to add to the peaceful atmosphere you want. You might still find it difficult to adjust to any of these, but The Faithful God could then direct your heart to pray for the GRACE to adjust, EASILY, for there is nothing God cannot do, in answer to PRAYER! From one answer of your prayer to another, God is helping you to build up more Trust in Him, and if you continue to pray to Him sincerely for solutions to your problems, your husband could be changed and becomes a better man, you could become a better woman too and you may start enjoying the marriage. Sooner or later, you will find that, God is YOUR ALL-IN-ALL. Sooner or later still, you could come to LOVE, AND APPRECIATE THE CHOICE THAT GOD MADE FOR YOU IN MARRIAGE, and then realize that, your spouse has then helped you to be a better someone, could be in patience, tolerance, senses, maturity, accommodating, and above all, in becoming CLOSER to The Almighty God Who made you, sent His Son Jesus to Die for you in order to Reconcile you back to Himself as a Loving Child, and a God Who has Prepared a Beautiful Mansion for you in Heaven after this life! If you Walk with Him in OBEDIENCE ALL THROUGH YOUR LIFE TO THE END, THAT MANSION WILL BE SURELY YOURS! So your spouse that God chose for you, was JUST YOUR `BEST` in disguise!
Now, let us look at the other type of person that is ready to marry, but he or she is a TRUE BIBLE CHRISTIAN! A Bible Christian is a person who once realized that he or she was living a sinful life, and that God was not happy with him or with her. He or she wanted to have God’s Favour in his or in her life. He or she wanted to live a daily life such that God will be pleased with him or with her. He or she may not know what to do in order to make God happy with him or with her. But when God sees such a willing heart who desires to make Him happy, He would go into the right ACTION to bring the TRUTH to this `HUNGRY` heart. Let me share my own experience here. I once was in this stage, a SINNER but had a deep HUNGER to live a life that God could be PLEASED with me, daily. In our SAHIMO this week, I did mention that, although I was born into a family that was very active in the Church(including me) and I was brought up(my father was a part-time preacher) enjoying the fellowship each time I was in the Church, but that fellowship, or working in the Church did not prepare any of us for Heaven, because none of us lived a life free from sin, nor had the DAILY VICTORY over SIN! I did not understand how one could be able to do good things that God would be continuously happy with the person. I did not even understand why I had such FEELING that we were not serving God the way we should, apart from just noticing some things done around each other, which my conscience was faithful to let me know were bad. But right inside me, all through my youthful days, I was CERTAIN that there was a BETTER WAY TO SERVE GOD, and I seriously was LONGING for that WAY. Try and get hold of my Autobiography: GRASS AND THE FORCES part 1, if you have not yet read it. You will hear about my EFFORTS and STRUGGLES to find that Way, but I failed. The failure, I believe now, was not from God, I believe God might have done His Part to reveal the Way to me, but might be I was not paying good attention. After my basic education, I moved to the City and worked for about four years before I came across the opportunity to come to the UK. During that time in the City, I began to categorize sins into different stages of their severity. I TRIED MY BEST TO AVIOD COMMITTING THE `BAD` SINS with higher severity. Telling lies, to me was less serious sin, so I was `expert` in telling lies. Having a boyfriend, to me was in the category of `light` sin, so from time to time, I had a boyfriend-one at a time, mainly. Dating a MARRIED MAN, to me, fell into the category of SERIOUS SIN, so, I tried my very best to avoid that. But because a sinner cannot PERFECTLY Please God the way He wants him to, because he has not possessed the POWER to live without sin, I fell a victim to dating a married man, just the last year that I was in the City, few months before I departed for UK. All these self-righteous Exercises, was as the result of me SEARCHING FOR THE RIGHT WAY TO LIVE FOR GOD’S PLEASURE! But I was not successful, I was still a sinner. Telling lies is still sin. Dating single men, is still sin. And falling into the temptation of dating a married man, even for the few months, is still sin. I called it temptation, because the man tried a DIFFERENT and UNUSUAL TECHNIQUE to get me, after coming through the usual common method of winning a woman, and was not successful. Ignorantly and innocently, got trapped, before I knew what was going on. Men, I do not want to introduce that technique to you here, otherwise I would share it for a good laugh here! Just be honest, using the normal senses to approach a woman you want to have as a friend, whilst checking each other’s suitability for marriage. If the woman agrees to go along with you, you’ve won her, if not, move on with prayer for God’s choice for you. Include prayer in your search, God may help you to win the woman who is yours, but would have missed you if God did not help you to do what you should do in order to win her.
After all my `CAREFULNESS` to make God happy during my life in the City, and felt I was good at it, The Great God of Mercy Spared my life until I got it all RIGHT, even when I faced with death, one or two times during those days. I was in a local flight, where the plane that was a near-miss to crash, miraculously LANDED SAFELY, against all odds. The rain that caught up with that plane in the sky, and had separated the pilot from the ATC Base, was later recorded as the worst in 10 years, the local News did say later! I doubt if there was any passenger that believed that plane would land safely. Mandu did not, not after a passenger next to me collapsed, and the plane was shaking in the sky like a truck riding through hill and valley! Why should I not believe that God must have had me in mind, and made sure I was alive to later come across the RIGHT WAY to Serve Him, and make Heaven at last! About a year or so after that plane incident, I had an opportunity to come to London. In my sin still, I met a man who, among two others, asked me for a hand in marriage. I had all along been afraid to marry, for I thought no man could be trusted a hundred percent. But I wanted such a man, a man that could catch my attention, and whom I was sure I did catch his attention too. A man I could trust with a great percentage in all things necessary, and a man I would live with happily, for life! Over the years, I thought I didn’t see such a man, and I refused any man that came my way for marriage, because I wanted to MARRY BUT ONCE IN MY LIFE-TIME. Well, London situation and other issues did not favour my staying single much longer, SEARCHING for the never-finding Mr. Best. Through my feeble knowledge about God, as was introduced to me by my parents(I will ever be grateful to God for giving me them), I remembered that I could PRAY and ASK God to help choose a spouse for me. As I said in our SAHIMO this week, I used that prayer time to tell God to GIVE ME SOMEONE THAT I WILL SERVE GOD TOGETHER WITH, AND IN THE RIGHT WAY THAT I HAD BEEN LOOKING FOR. I also mentioned in our SAHIMO this week, the BETTER prayer I should have prayed first before asking for a suitable spouse. I should have prayed for the forgiveness of my sins, and for the Power to live without sin. That is when The Holy Spirit, The Perfect Guide, Leader, Teacher, Instructor, and the Perfect Guard, would have been given to Abide in me, Leading and Helping me in making the BEST choices for my life, Best for me in this life and especially, for my LIFE after here. God Actually DID answer my prayer, and after a day’s fasting and praying(in sin), that night, God sent an Evangelist to me in my dream, who pointed to me who to choose for a husband, among those I had in view. That was the very person I had in mind, but still was afraid to say `yes` to. But how different that person that the Evangelist pointed to me in the dream for me to choose, would have been, if I had The Spirit of God in me to Do The CHOOSING DIRECTLY for me, without going through an Evangelist, and through a DREAM! Might be God would not have even chosen any among those I had in view. Might be He would have chosen from somewhere else, or from the Church that later showed me the RIGHT WAY to Serve God, who knows!
God Answered my prayer according to who I was then, a sinner. But God later used the spouse to help me COME TO HIM, DISCOVER WHO HE REALLY IS, AND BEST OF ALL, TO DISCOVER THE RIGHT WAY TO SERVE HIM AND MAKE HEAVEN, WHICH I HAD BEEN YEARNING TO KNOW ALL MY LIFE UNTIL THEN! To come to the right Church to show me this RIGHT WAY, Satan was there to obstruct my movement too. I was invited to this Church, more than twice, but the area I was told the Church was/is, was not an appealing, inviting area in London for me to go to, for Church, so I declined the invitation. Perhaps if it were for any other `good` reason order than Church, I would have accepted the invitation first time! Satan is still obstructing people’s movement to go into something GOOD-THE RIGHT WAY TO SERVE GOD AND MAKE HEAVEN, enlightened by The GOOD NEWS OF THE GOSPEL OF JESUS CHRIST. Do not give him the chance in your life, don’t let Satan succeed beguiling and stopping your blessing. The Faithful and The Merciful God, had to come in-between me and the tricks of the enemy of my soul, before I had the breakthrough and went to the Church, one day! I entered the Church, and when I noticed the `poor` setting, not as glamorous as the church my spouse and I were briefly attending, I wanted to go out. But God again gave me the victory to sit down and listened. That day, with what I heard which brought glorious HOPE to my heart, I went home with my spouse, telling him that, that would be my Church for life. After about 36 years, it is still my Church, despite the tricks of Satan played around! Glory be to God’s Merciful Name for lost sinners! That was the RIGHT TIME TO FIND THE RIGHT WAY, I believe, and Satan could no longer `succeed` to rob me of my Blessings. The question is, would I have even remembered to begin my search for this RIGHT WAY, if I had married someone that I would have preferred to the one I married? It is actually this man that suggested this Church to me, when we had some problems, and I was looking for a better Church to attend, than the one we were scarcely attending. I was not satisfied with the present church, because my heart was still YEARNING for THE BETTER WAY to serve God, which I could not see from the present church. If I had delayed my marriage and kept searching until the Mr. Best I was looking for came, and I married, would the `luxurious` life I might had in the marriage(at least that early beginning), cause me sorrow enough to remember the search of the RIGHT WAY, I once put interest into? Likely not! I ran to God for help when I had problems with my given spouse. I prayed yet again as a sinner, but God changed my prayer request, and I prayed for the SALVATION of my Soul, the way I heard, and how to obtain it, from my new-found Church! That He answered, forgave me sins, made me better than I was, put His Spirit in me for Guidance, The Spirit of Grace to bear inevitable or unexpected problems with smiles. I help my spouse prayed for the Salvation of his soul too. One day, he confessed he was saved from sin. The marriage became the best, or one of the best spoken of among those around us, within and abroad. The Grace of God for me and in me grew, and He helped me bear all what I must bear, to do all I must do(as human), in order to keep the marriage. Glory be to His Name for the help to the helpless! For about TWENTY-FIVE years, I had a wonderful, happy home, serving God because of the settled JOY OS SALVATION IN MY HEART. This time, and for once, I SERVED/SERVE GOD THE RIGHT WAY HE IS PLEASED WITH, THE RIGHT WAY I HAD BEEN LONGING FOR YEARS. I am very SATISFIED and CONTENTED that I am still on the RIGHT WAY, these over THIRTY-FIVE YEARS. More than this, my SATISFACTION IS IN KNOWING THAT, GOD HAS RESERVED A PLACE FOR ME IN HEAVEN TO LIVE JOYFULLY AND PEACEFULLY WITH HIM, ALL THROUGH THE ENDLESS ETERNITY! Where can I start from to Praise His Holy Name! Eternity with Him in Heaven can only be enough for such Praises. Amen. `Regrettably`, the marriage has not lasted as the type that I planned for, when I was yet single, despite all EFFORTS, STRUGGLES, ENDURANCES, AND MOSTLY PRAYERS. But that CAN NEVER change my mind about the impossibilities that the power of prayer can bring, rather, it makes me BELIEVE THAT, PRAYER HAS MADE IT POSIBLE FOR ME TO BE WHERE I AM TODAY, AND WHERE GOD WILL TAKE ME TO, TOMORROW. I have proved the power of prayer and see it work impossibilities for me, what then should cloud my ASSURANCE! My short-lived marriage cannot also discourage me to believe that, God did not answer my prayer as a sinner, when I fasted and prayed for a spouse. He answered me and gave me the spouse that suited for my needs-the greatest need of man is to be ready for Heaven, which I am! My experience is a good warning to you, if you want to ENJOY LASTING MARRIAGE, AND STILL MAKE HEAVEN YOUR HOME. If you want that, turn and be a BIBLE CHRISTIAN, BEFORE ASKING FOR A SPOUSE! My irreparable failed marriage, has given God an opportunity to USE IT FOR SALVATION OF SOULS, AND FOR HIS GLORY. So, even God too, Does Gain from the mistake I made, remaining for so long in SIN before I married. But you can start early to give your life to Christ, and begin early too, to ACCUMULATE many Blessings for your future on earth, and above all, your EVERLATING FUTURE IN HEAVEN. Never forget that, the longer you stay in sin, the more undesirable `MARKS` or `SCARS`, you put on your body. Some sins although will be forgiven and washed away in future, but the problem, the effect, the scar or the complication they might have brought to your life, may not be washed away when your sins will be. For instance, one is very deep into sin of arm-robbery for a long time, and each time he or she is commits such sin, he or she is`lucky` to escape being caught. Then one day, God may allow him or her to be caught and may be shot at, breaking one leg. His disability might come to be permanent, so even when later in life he or she would repent of his sins and God forgives him, and Gives him power to sin no more, his disability on the foot might still remain until he dies. But the PEACE of God in his heart, got when his sins were forgiven, and the grace of God, would make him bear the disability with ease and smiles. The HOPE of living with God at the end of his life, could make him not feeling the problem of disability that he is facing. GREAT HOPE FOR ALL BIBLE CHRISTIANS! Have it from today, by repenting of your sins, and believing in The Blood of Jesus Christ to make you whole-free to live a pleasing Life before God, your Maker, and The One Who Judges sin now, and Who will Judge sinner that will die with his sins, into Eternal Lake of Fire. May you not be one to receive such JUDGEMENT. AMEN.
I do support most of the points, if not all, which the article above brought out. I just want to add a few to it. It is good for the couple to let one another know everything about each other, while they are dating, even before they are engaged. Talk a lot about yourselves, and don’t be afraid to OBJECT to your friend’s life-style or attitude that you do not like. If you can correct him or her and he or she changes, then good. But if he or she cannot change, stop there to think about it. Ask yourself, is it a serious problem you would not be able to handle and still enjoy your marriage, or something you can just ignore? Is it something that needs your friend to pass into the actual marriage first before he or she can change? If it is so, then don’t let that stop you from marrying him/her, for marriage will force him or her into changing. So ignore. But for very SERIOUS attitude that is too far from yours, and you know you cant take it into the lasting marriage you are praying for, include that in your praying for assurance whether to go into the marriage or not. I know when someone really wants something, especially one to marry, once he or she is in love, the eyes can be blinded to important things that the eyes should be opened to. But please be sensible. As a Bible Christian, I know God has The Power to change someone for better, I know there is power in prayer, but God has also given man the ability and senses to do his or her `home-work` first, on things like marriage before going in. Play your part, or you may be tempting God thinking that, THE FIRE YOU SEE WITH YOUR EYES WILL NOT BURN YOU IF YOU PUT YOUR FINGER INTO IT, GOD WILL PROTECT YOU. No, do your part and pray, if that woman or man is not yours, God can change your feelings, or increase your feelings, if that is yours. When my spouse proposed to me, I did ask him if he wanted to marry me because he needed me to be working and help financially, then or in the future. I told him my weakness that I can work for very many hours without break if need be, only if that work DOES NOT REQUIRE MUSCULAR LABOURING. I told him I was brought up in a home that had house-help all the time, and they were the people who served us. Though my parents consider me as the most industrious and hard-working one among my elder siblings, I still acknowledged/acknowledge within me, the limit I could go. So, I explained that my weakness to my spouse-to-be, not once, not twice, until he became annoyed and misinterpreted me to mean that, I am looking for excuse for him to give up on me, `AS IF THERE WOULD BE NO OTHER GIRL FOR HIM TO MARRY, IF HE MISSED ME`. That was far away from what I had in mind. It might have even crossed his mind to think also that, just because I had alternative suitors, that might have been the reason for my `excuse`. No, those were not in my mind. Even if I was very DESPERATE for a man to marry, and then saw the one I loved much better to marry, I would have still done the same explanation. It has NEVER been my habit to `FOOL` someone into the unknown, selfishly, because I need a favour. I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT THE AFTER-EFFECT, THE CONSEQUENCE OF DOING WHAT IS CONSPICUOUSLY AND CLEARLY WRONG THING TO DO, ESPECIALLY SOMETHING SINFUL. Everybody’s conscience does know those things that are CLEARLY BAD to do, so nobody will have such excuse before God, claiming innocence after committing such sins. As I said in our SAHIMO this week, I mapped-out my life long before I married. I wanted to have a reasonable level of education, not higher than first degree, got myself a full-time reputable job, fall in love with my dream man, have children but work part-time so as to have time for my children’s HOME-TRAINING, and above all, SERVE GOD WITH MY WHOLE FAMILY, IN THE WAY THAT I WAS LOOKING FOR, THEN-THE BIBLICAL WAY OF HOLINESS. Doing so, I just believed without anybody telling me, that God would be pleased with me, and my life and my family’s life, would be FRUITFUL! Now my advice to men, in addition to the article above is, FIND A COMMON GROUND WITH THE WOMAN YOU WANT TO MARRY, AND STRIKE A COMPROMISE THAT YOU WILL EVER BE HAPPY WITH, BEFORE YOU MARRY. It is good for a wife to work hard(according to her ability that you would have known before marrying her), and support her husband, financially. Check yourself and find out if you can survive with or without your wife’s income, especially when children begin to come into the marriage. If you know you cant, then, maybe, ask God to bless you with one child only. The Bible talks of a man having the ABILITY TO `PROVIDE FOR HIS HOUSE-HOLD`, that means, men are the major breadwinners to their home, wife can only be a SUPPORTER, FINANCIALLY. That support comes in different levels, depending on the job she is in, and the availability of a job for her. Be ready to do all to help your wife find the job any woman can do, especially before children arrive. No woman would want to be a fulltime housewife, watching the husband struggle unduly, unless there is no employment suitable for her. Know your wife’s strength and weakness, before marriage, and be a PRAYERFUL MAN, who will lead the family to home Alter, and Church. Be a Bible Christian. If you are not these things, these responsibilities will inevitably fall on the woman who is serious with God. To add that to taking care of the children physically, and a fulltime employment, and home care, for you, for the children and for herself, is an expectation that you can never get in its BEST! Either the children will be in spiritual lack, physical lack(hygiene, mental ability, nourishment wise and so), or you or her can age disproportionately before long. You may soon add medical expenses to your finance, if you are not careful(speaking all these as man, only God can support man’s efforts before they can yield fruit). Men, if you are the type that has ex-tra-marital affairs, be it with same-sex or opposite, or even both(if this is possible, since the world can result into this for some people, today. No wonder we are seeing the unusual around us now, because unusual have been stingingly poured out into the world, by Satan) if you are in any category of this, you CANNOT EVER HAVE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE, FOR EVEN IF YOUR RIGHTFUL SPOUSE AT HOME WOULD CHOOSE TO TOLERATE YOUR MESS WITH GREAT GREIVE IN HIS OR HER HEART, IN ORDER TO MAKE THE MARRIAGE SURVIVE, THE HOLY GOD OF ORDERLINESS AND PERFECT JUDGEMENT, WILL SOONER OR LATER SEPARATE AND SCATER THE ABOMINABLE UNION IN HIS ANGER, ONE WAY OR THE OTHER. THE WOMAN, OR THE GUILTLESS PARTNER MUST BE SET FREE. One of the evils that extra-marital affairs can bring into marriage, is the DIVIDED ATTENTION OF THE MAN, BETWEEN HIS RIGHTFUL MARRIAGE AND THE OTHER WOMAN/WOMEN ETC OUTSIDE. His attention is divided in all things, including his INCOME. His income could just be enough to care neatly for his rightful family, but when he tries to do so, the other illicit relationship draws him back, and after attending to the adultrous woman and her needs, he comes home and pours out his fury on the wife for being at home and not abandoning the children to go to fulltime work, in order to meet with his LUSTFUL demands. Spending outside in lust might even be in addition to high taste, above his income, which could result in debt. How could such children survive! How could such home-keeping be well organized! How could the man himself feel at home after his adultrous visits! how labourous the woman herself would feel at the close of the day if she has to put all that load on herself! Men be reasonable and think twice before you sign your marriage contract. If your wife is able to earn more than you, a reasonable woman will not wait to be persuaded to spend her income even more than the man, for her own home, in order to keep her home satisfied, as God's Satandard requires. But none of you should spend or work at the expense of the sousl of the children and their entitled up-keeping. None of you should put anything at the risk of your soul. In whichever case, it is not the responsibility of the woman to take over the home financial burden, unless in emmergencies, like sudden unemplyment of the husband as he loses his job, the cause of that not from him! Help your wife if you can, to sholder the beauty up=keep of the home and children, and appreciate her as the article above advises. Unless a careless mother, otherwise, quality mother/wife has a very great responsibilities to daily discharge for her home, as she daily struggles to make everyone in the home, happy and READY FOR HEAVEN!

Well, I would like to end this here, although there are still so much to bring in, but I pray God to do what man cant in each marriage that may be going through USUAL MARITAL DIFFICULTIES, irrespective of the causes, so that marriages can go back, at least a little, to how it used to be-long, happy, DECENT, fruitful and with the BOND of Christian love/ UNIT!

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